I went to bed last night knowing today would be hard. I couldn’t fall asleep with all the stress and worry trying to strangle me, weighing on my chest. I couldn’t breathe for a large portion of the night and my normal techniques to calm myself down didn’t work. At all.
But I pressed on.
I woke up this morning knowing today would be hard. I rolled over and snuggled the boy cat until he squirmed. I’ve finally learned how to avoid his claws.
I stared at (and largely ignored) the clock on the wall as long as I could. I rolled out of bed, shuffled to the closet, played “fashion show” and changed my mind about my outfit five times. (And then lamented the fact I can’t remember where I put my favorite pencil skirt when we moved.)
I got in the car. I carefully painted on my concealer, mascara, and a possibly-too-deep burgundy lipstick. I sang along to the radio and tried to let all my cares go, but in my heart I still knew today would be hard.
I kissed my fiancée goodbye outside the office. I got brave. I knew a mountain of hard work awaited me.
I marched into the office, swiped my badge and put my game face and my fancy shoes on.
I faced the day, as strong as I could.
Twelve hours after I kissed my future wife goodbye, I left the office in the midst of a thunderstorm.
Twelve hours later I sit on a train, tired and still anxious because tomorrow another hard day awaits.
But, I will do what I always do and put my game face on. My war paint on. I will find my zone and I will do as much as I can wherever I am with whatever I have.
And that is more than enough.