I never thought I’d see the day where you’d be in a relationship. You always told me that it wasn’t for you. That you were a drifter of sorts. That you didn’t want to be tied down. I asked, then I stopped. I gave up on you and as you saw me evolve through my own relationships, you always hung around. But never committed to me fully.
It was always just a “no strings” situation. It was always just a quick text late at night, it was a Springsteen reference. Once, I even started it–evoking “our song” and now all I can do is laugh at the prospect of us even having one. Although the one I think of will always remind me of you–in a saddening, almost twisted way.
But, maybe you’ve changed. Maybe you’ve evolved since I met you all those years ago. Maybe something finally clicked inside your brain.
But I worry you haven’t.
I worry you’re still an immature jerk. I worry you’re still the snake charmer you’ve always been–or at least you were for me. I worry you’re still the guy who kicked me out because I nearly stumbled into your guitar. I worry you’re still the sleaze who raped me.
I never thought I’d see a day where I felt sorry for a girl that was with you. I never thought I’d see a day where I realized I lucked out. I never thought I’d see a day where I’m grateful you’re gone. For a long, long time you were the one I pined away for, believe it or not.
But now, you’re not.
Now, you’re just a distant memory and a twinge of nostalgia for the “college daze” and a sad, nauseating joke from a long, long time ago.
I never thought I’d see the day.