Occasionally, grief hits you at the strangest of moments. You could be sitting in bed, reading about cookies someone baked today, and all of a sudden you remember someone you lost. Someone who meant the world to you–but you never showed it. It’s strange how you remember, when you remember–it could be the middle of the day or the middle of the night.
But you will always feel like there is something you would’ve, could’ve, should’ve said. You could’ve said thank you. You would’ve said you appreciated them. You should’ve hugged them.
But all of the “what if I had done x, y, or z”s will stay that way forever. They won’t change. You’re left questioning, wondering “what if?” for the rest of your life.
All I will say is that I wish I could’ve done all of those things and that I miss you very much. I hope I’m making you proud.